Riff on a theme
My theory is that most people are the way they are and behave the way they do because of;
1) Built in character traits
2) Learned behavior
3) Experience/environment
4) A single defining moment
Now, I am not a trained psychiatrist, and realize that my theory is therefore virtually worthless in actuality. I have no empirical evidence to back this up, nor have I adequately read up on the subject, but it fits with my experience and feeling and I will therefore stick to it until I learn otherwise.
1) I believe that we are born with certain traits, very hard if not impossible to eradicate, that our whole personality is based on. It's funny how very small children exhibit mostly the same basic traits as they will as adults, not having had enough time to either "learn" this behavior nor be affected by the environment.
2) However, we of course pick up certain things from our role models, such as parents or guardians. This can be either;
a) We see their behavior and emulate it, being in a formative state as children, or;
b) We see their behavior and do completely the opposite. I, for one, decided to never start smoking witnessing the constant smoking of my parents. I never have and I never did. It's weird how powerful that urge has always been for me, the urge not to smoke despite considerable peer pressure. Learned behavior on my part, albeit in reverse.
3) Of course both experience and the environment play a part in our personality.
Although I believe that we essentially become the people we will always be at a very early age, time, experience and the environment certainly have an effect, if nothing more than smoothing out the edges. We (most of us anyway) slowly learn what works and doesn't work with other people, plus our surroundings and influential things like school and friends can slowly have an effect on our outlook. Plus, with a concentrated effort, I still (perhaps naively) believe that people are able to affect change on themselves. It just takes a whole lot of hard thrice damned work.
4) And then there is this. A single defining moment that either changes the way we see a certain thing or accentuates what is already there. Pretty rare I should think (again, having nothing to back this up) but I know of such cases. One being myself.
When I was about 10 years old, I was in school during a societal studies class. The textbook (for some odd reason I can't really fathom now) showed a little story in pictures.
The story was about two little kids, a boy and a girl of about 10-12 it appeared, which were poised to go visit their grandfather. The grandfather (obviously living alone) was seen glowing with anticipation, baking a cake for the grandchildren, pouring milk into glasses and happily awaiting their arrival. At the same time, the grandchildren were on their way but stopped to participate in a soccer game. The grandfather keeps waiting, his smile slowly turning into a sad frown, the afternoon passes, it slowly becomes dark, and the kids just keep playing and never arrive. The story ends with the grandfather sitting all alone at the table, all set with milk and goodies, so sad, waiting for his grandchildren that never arrived.
I remember vividly this absolutely breaking my heart. I mean, I sobbed and felt literally that I was choking, I felt so bad and such empathy for the grandfather. I've seldom felt such intense emotion in my entire life. I thought about it constantly for weeks afterwards.
I'm always on time. I never break appointments I make unless in dire need and then always let people know about it in as much advance as I can. I don't say I'm going to be somewhere unless I absolutely intend to be there. I have a lot of faults, but disrespect for other people's time isn't one of them.
I believe that that moment defined that quality for me. I don't know if I had it in me to begin with, but if I did, it became ever so much stronger at that point.
"As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment"
-John Steinbeck
1) Built in character traits
2) Learned behavior
3) Experience/environment
4) A single defining moment
Now, I am not a trained psychiatrist, and realize that my theory is therefore virtually worthless in actuality. I have no empirical evidence to back this up, nor have I adequately read up on the subject, but it fits with my experience and feeling and I will therefore stick to it until I learn otherwise.
1) I believe that we are born with certain traits, very hard if not impossible to eradicate, that our whole personality is based on. It's funny how very small children exhibit mostly the same basic traits as they will as adults, not having had enough time to either "learn" this behavior nor be affected by the environment.
2) However, we of course pick up certain things from our role models, such as parents or guardians. This can be either;
a) We see their behavior and emulate it, being in a formative state as children, or;
b) We see their behavior and do completely the opposite. I, for one, decided to never start smoking witnessing the constant smoking of my parents. I never have and I never did. It's weird how powerful that urge has always been for me, the urge not to smoke despite considerable peer pressure. Learned behavior on my part, albeit in reverse.
3) Of course both experience and the environment play a part in our personality.
Although I believe that we essentially become the people we will always be at a very early age, time, experience and the environment certainly have an effect, if nothing more than smoothing out the edges. We (most of us anyway) slowly learn what works and doesn't work with other people, plus our surroundings and influential things like school and friends can slowly have an effect on our outlook. Plus, with a concentrated effort, I still (perhaps naively) believe that people are able to affect change on themselves. It just takes a whole lot of hard thrice damned work.
4) And then there is this. A single defining moment that either changes the way we see a certain thing or accentuates what is already there. Pretty rare I should think (again, having nothing to back this up) but I know of such cases. One being myself.
When I was about 10 years old, I was in school during a societal studies class. The textbook (for some odd reason I can't really fathom now) showed a little story in pictures.
The story was about two little kids, a boy and a girl of about 10-12 it appeared, which were poised to go visit their grandfather. The grandfather (obviously living alone) was seen glowing with anticipation, baking a cake for the grandchildren, pouring milk into glasses and happily awaiting their arrival. At the same time, the grandchildren were on their way but stopped to participate in a soccer game. The grandfather keeps waiting, his smile slowly turning into a sad frown, the afternoon passes, it slowly becomes dark, and the kids just keep playing and never arrive. The story ends with the grandfather sitting all alone at the table, all set with milk and goodies, so sad, waiting for his grandchildren that never arrived.
I remember vividly this absolutely breaking my heart. I mean, I sobbed and felt literally that I was choking, I felt so bad and such empathy for the grandfather. I've seldom felt such intense emotion in my entire life. I thought about it constantly for weeks afterwards.
I'm always on time. I never break appointments I make unless in dire need and then always let people know about it in as much advance as I can. I don't say I'm going to be somewhere unless I absolutely intend to be there. I have a lot of faults, but disrespect for other people's time isn't one of them.
I believe that that moment defined that quality for me. I don't know if I had it in me to begin with, but if I did, it became ever so much stronger at that point.
"As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment"
-John Steinbeck
posted by Völundur at 2:03 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home